Well, once again I am a complete and utter slacker when it comes to posting on my blog.
I feel like “things and stuff” just take over, and I am left here with my jaw hanging open wondering, WHERE did the time go? Suddenly it’s Christmas again. Suddenly my baby boy is 16 months old and walking and chattering. Suddenly I’m facing decisions that should be easy, but make me feel incredibly stressed.
We’ve had a whirlwind of a year. Birthdays and deaths, storms and peaceful nights together… all in all, we’re happy, healthy and incredibly blessed.
To address these things It’s Christmas again. Sam and I have probably gone overboard on gifts for Finn, and for each other. Every year we have set a small limit (small in comparison I am sure) on how much to spend for each other. Every year, I think we go over it a bit. This year, I know I have had no issue spending on Mr. F. I want to see his little face on Sunday morning when the tree is lit in the semi darkness and suddenly there are all these BOXES under the tree!! We’ve let him play with a few of his Christmas gifts, simply because I couldn’t hold out. One was an adorable rocking dog that I just love, and Finn does too. We’ll hide it tonight and then put a bow on it for Sunday morning. Some others have been books. One I brought out and he really loved it, so I snuck it away pretty quickly.
Finnegan is getting bigger and bigger every day. Every day I look at him and think about how tiny he once was. How he slept all day and I could get so much done around the house. Now, I try to make sure I sit on the floor with him and play at least a couple of times a day when working from home. Other days, I don’t always get that time. I do however get bedtime. That’s my treat. I need to see it as a treat (which I mostly do, it’s the days that I’m worn and tired that I sometimes don’t) because the daddy preference is rearing its head more and more often. I knew it would happen, and it didn’t take long for it to show up, but lately it’s becoming stronger. Who really knows what it is. Is it that Daddy is just more fun? Or is it that innately, Finn knows he’s a boy, like daddy?? Either way, I do try to soak up every little snuggle when it is presented, every little kiss, when for some strange reason he feels like giving me a sweet one. This has been my major train of thought this week… cherishing those moments. Truly trying to take the time to spend with him, because I know, as one blogger said “This too shall pass” and it rings oh so true. Pretty soon he won’t be a little boy running down the hall in footie pajamas. Pretty soon he won’t be putting the binky in his mouth and reading a bedtime story with me. I am thankful for snuggles in the morning too, which have become a sort of habit as of late. (Early morning cries = time in mommy and daddy’s bed sleeping) Habit, yes. Good or bad, undecided.
Stressful decisions… in an adult woman’s life, are there any decisions that aren’t stressing? Currently, there are a few that are in “talks.” Things like basement projects, money, cars… even jobs. Everything and nothing, truly. Nothing pressing of course… but I constantly throw things around in my head, back and forth, back and forth. Volleying around and getting nowhere until I feel like I can solidly say “YES” about a single item and be happy about that final decision.